i feel like i’ve been on and off ill for the past month now. or, beyond the tiredness and pain i usually feel. i’ve had moments or a day or two of clarity which is good enough to get me through, but i really want to feel ‘myself’ again. hoping that will come with spring, which definitely seems to be taking its grips in the UK. pretty sure it helps everyone.
last week i went to roath park and the conservatory for the first time in a while. i had wanted to go the week previously but i had a pretty bad cold and chest infection, and could barely walk from one room to another, let alone to roath park and beyond. when i left the house to go, it was sunny and warm. ‘perfect!’ i thought. but as soon as i got there it pretty much constantly rained or hailed, ha! which i used as a (pretty legit) excuse for a trip to the conservatory. it was weird being in there in the humid surroundings, hearing the hail pelting down on the glass. it does make me happy being in there though.
wow, i can’t believe i’ve regularly blogged here for 4 years now. it doesn’t seem like that long at all. i’ve had blogs before this over the years, and even on this blog i previously only updated on very rare occasion. so, i class my blog (rather than blogging) birthday from when i started blogging on a regular basis, which was pretty much four years ago to this date.
i wish i had some interesting or useful insight to give, but really, my main thing to say is to share what you love and have passion for. it will be hard to keep up if you’re doing something just for the sake of it, or writing about various things because it’s ‘what other people do’. i can understand that if blogging is your job it’s a little harder, and of course there are times you’ll lose passion or lack your creative sparkle for a while.
it’s okay to take breaks (which you don’t need to apologise for). it’s okay to share something just because you’re proud of it, or because you want to share for the sake of sharing. it’s okay to be yourself – however weird or ordinary that is. not every post has to be the best thing you’ve ever written or created. you don’t have to be a writer, a photographer, a stylist or any other seemingly infinite variable. essentially, you just have to be you and that will help you find your passion if you’ve not already found it.
perhaps blogging will even help you discover more about yourself. perhaps it will make you more confident, and more willing to see things from other peoples point of view. perhaps you will find (or create) a blog that shows beauty in unexpected forms and will help you create memories that you will be so thankful for. perhaps you’ll make friends and acquaintances that will help you though bad times even if they can’t be there in person. perhaps you’ll learn new skills and find a passion inside of you that you never knew existed.
i think, as much as people like to pull down the idea of ‘being a blogger’ it can really mean so much, in so many different ways. some big, some small. like everything in life, the action of blogging has it’s consequences, and if you can put something good into the world, even if it’s just into one persons life just for a moment, then it’s been worthwhile.
this blog for me will always be a place where i can share happinesses, big and small. it used to be that i would never want to share ‘bad’ things, but over the years i’ve realised even sharing bad memories and situations can help other people. i know i’m not particularly eloquent, and by no means will i ever call myself a writer, but i do hope when i share much more personal things like when i’ve talked about anorexia, body image, suicide, illness and more, that i can help someone out there feel less alone. sometimes it’s very hard to talk, and writing these things down helps me as much as it may potentially help someone else.
but first and foremost, this blog is a place to share my work. my life long love of photography and small things that make life worth living. oh, and colour of course. lots of colour.