so at the beginning of last week i finally had the rheumatology appointment i’ve been waiting for most of the year for. if you can recall, i had fears that i would leave feeling fobbed off or that i wasn’t listened to. glad to say neither was the case. i mean, i suppose it could have gone a little better, but for a first appointment my anxiety was mostly put to rest.
i’ve been given a preliminary diagnosis of fibromyalgia but also had blood taken and a few xrays to rule out other things. i have to go back in february (on valentines day, ha!) for my results and i guess to discuss things further. i had suspected that he would say fibromyalgia yet at the same time i know some people do get diagnosed with it because their doctor or consultant can’t see any real obvious symptoms of anything else. it’s a bit tricky i guess. i do suspect i have a few related issues so would be good to get official diagnosis of those too.
so, a little clarity, right? better than none.
other than that this week has kind of just mushed into one big nothingness. which, for once hasn’t necessarily been bad. i’ve been feeling so drained and frazzled that i think i needed it. i’m finding it hard right now to even think of more words/remember my week so i’ll leave it there.
this’ll be my last post til the new year (unless there’s something i just have to share here) – hope you enjoy the holiday period! in the meantime you can find me on instagram and twitter.
snapshots of my week – 19th december was last modified: 08:00 by laura redburn
my brain feels a bit empty this week, or, at least right now. i’ve actually been really productive and gotten loads of things done i’ve been putting off, as well as making some new work and coming up with plans and ideas, but it seems to come in bursts, in between which it feels like my brain just switches off.
in the past few months i feel like my brain has gone through some inperceiveable shift, like a switch somewhere was turned off and i find it really hard to focus and remember things well. i’ve had this brain fogginess before and i know that if it clears again it’ll inevitably reappear, but it’s intensely frustrating. i know there’s a better more function-able version of myself in there and it’s like it’s fighting to get out but ultimately giving up.
it’s hard to explain but i know there are others that go through this. brains and bodies are very strange aren’t they.
snapshots of my week – 2nd december was last modified: 08:00 by laura redburn
earlier this week i finally got an appointment for a rheumatologist. i’ve been waiting since near the beginning of the year, and the wait has felt endless. still, at least it’s nearly here now, so that’s a bit of a weight off my mind. yet, at the same time it brings new worries.
what if it’s like when i went to the audiologist for my tinnitus? i was basically made to feel like i was wasting the consultants time because it’s not that bad. i mean, it’s constant and at times it drives me nuts, but i suppose it could be worse. to be honest i felt completely fobbed off. i know my joint aches and pains and general body woes aren’t as bad as some others ..of course they’re not. but i’ve had these problems for almost my entire life, i am in pain almost all of the time, and my issues affect me both physically and mentally. i just want some sort of clarity and/or plan of treatment.
but then, i’m also kind of afraid of two opposing things. getting an official diagnosis versus a ‘i don’t know what’s wrong with you’ kind of thing. i suppose getting some official diagnosis/es is good because it’s a step forward in (hopefully) the right direction and it’s something i can mentally tick off, but whilst also having to deal properly with what’s potentially in my future with regards to mobility and the like as well as further blood tests, xrays, MRIs and what have you.
what if they say they don’t know what’s the matter with my body though, or that it’s general ‘aches and pains’ and i just have to deal with it? i don’t feel like what i go through is normal. it certainly doesn’t feel like it. if i can’t get any clarity i feel ever more entrenched in this pit of limbo i feel eternally destined to dwell in.
so yeah, this has all been on my mind a lot this week, whilst having to go through aforementioned aches and pains. it gets way worse this time of year and i dread it. fun times.
how has your week been?
snapshots of my week – 18th november was last modified: 08:00 by laura redburn