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General lifestyle and more personal posts that cover a broader range of topics.

what’s in my bag

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bb cream, mac lipstick, no7 lipstick and eyeliner gel

i often enjoy ‘what’s in my bag’ and similar type posts from others, so i thought i’d do one for any secretly nosy people out there. this is what i’d typically carry in a slightly bigger bag (like the one at the bottom of this post) but in a smaller handbag it’d generally be lipstick, bb cream if i’m out all day, my inhaler, phone and purse. as well as my camera if it’ll fit. oh, and my keys of course. i don’t have any kind of tablet so obviously i can’t carry something i don’t have!if you’ve done a similar post or video, link it in the comments and i’ll check it out.

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10 plans/goals for my future

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sometimes plan, sometimes wing it
kind of like the grown up version of ‘when i grow up i want to be…’ i thought i would write about things i want to achieve and/or do in years to come. some things are definitely very easily achievable or will naturally happen over time, some could happen unexpectedly quickly or some things may not happen for another 10 or more years. who knows, really!

what i do know is that i am working towards achieving my goals. i know i need to make better plans in, make actual plans, do my research and write things down, but i find that hard to do so there’ll always be some element of winging it, i guess.

this isn’t everything i want for the future, but just a few of the things that are in the forefront of my mind. i’m not including things like ‘to be happy and healthy’ because that’s a given. in no particular order…

10 plans/goals for my future:

1. i would love to be in a few books or magazines – whether this be for my collages or patterns ..or both. it’s definitely achievable, but i need to keep improving my work, putting it out there, and doing my research to find the right contacts and generally keep my eye out on blogs, twitter, and the like.

2a. design (from scratch) and have made a small range of clothing – this one is a childhood dream. i often used to make my own lookbooks/catalogues and dream of having a boutique that had my own clothes and accessories. i would love to work with a person/team to design a small range including dresses, skirts and blouses.

2b. along the same lines, i’d love to have my work (again, patterns or collage) used on garments for a retailer, well known or more niche. it’d make me incredibly happy to see people wear something that i’ve had a part in creating!

3. once again related to clothes – learn how to sew well enough to make dresses.

4. work harder on my shop, promote it better and expand the range of items. things like phone cases, purses and totes.

5. paint some huge paintings –  i don’t know what of yet, but i just want to make something really, really big.

6. have a studio or be able to afford a home that has a spare room that can be made into one.

7. improve my photography more. this mostly just means continuing to take photos, but moreso to learn what makes them good or interesting. similarly, to learn from my mistakes.

8. collaborate with a few artists that work in other mediums. ceramicists, textile artists/embroiderers, maybe film-makers or animators? the choices are endless!

9. make some form of comic/zine. even if i don’t share it with anyone, it’s just something i really want to do.

10. go abroad at least once in my life! basically all i need for this is money and a passport.

do you have any particular plans or goals for this year (or any years beyond it)?

beating anorexia

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self portrait
i’ve debated for a long time whether i should write this or not, but i figured if it helps just one person, then it’s been worthwhile. it’s a hard thing to write about partly because i’ve never talked to anyone about it before. i’ve made the rare passing comment, but never talked about it in detail.

okay, so.

as you may have guessed from the title, i want to talk about anorexia. and that you can recover from it. but with anything like this, you have to want to. it is so, so hard to bring yourself to eat ‘normal’, healthy amounts of food when eating is the complete opposite of what you want to do. this is just my experience, and it will be different for everybody.

it first started for me when i was about 17 or 18. it didn’t stem from wanting to be like slim models in magazines or anything like that, because that never even occurred to me. i think for me where it started was seeing a photo of myself (not the one above, obviously). because of my small frame, being overweight really shows. and i was. not obese, but definitely overweight. we never had scales in the house, so i didn’t know how much i weighed, but i could see i wasn’t happy with my appearance.
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