body image (+ swimsuit wishlist)

swimsuits from george at asda

swimsuits from george at asda

polka dot bikini | spotty swimsuit | striped tankini | ditsy floral tankini | polka & stripes swimsuit

like pretty much everyone ever, having a positive attitude towards my body image is something i’ve struggled with for most of my life. when i was in my early teens i was a little overweight but didn’t really care and then (looking back) almost seemingly out of nowhere i was in the crippling depths of anorexia.

many years later with a lot of hard work i began to put a bit of weight back on and for the first time ever i was happy with my body. then that went down the drain when i went on the pill and despite having the same eating habits and exercise regime i ballooned.

so whilst i’m (mostly) recovered from my anorexic days and body dysmorphic thinking i do have certain hangups about my body, most of which i’ve talked about here. most namely, my boobs. i’ve always had an ample bosom but the way they are now just really puts a dampener on how i see myself. they make me feel out of proportion and obviously there’s the fact they’re quite heavy and can cause back and neck issues.

i have a bit of a belly, bingo wings, and thick thighs but i’ve made my peace with those. my body is my body and i’m happy to have it. i celebrate others with various body shapes and sizes and am trying my best to do the same for myself.

i’m going to let you into a secret though. i’ve not worn (or owned) a swimsuit since i was a child. i mean, i can’t swim but that’s not really the issue. a day paddling at a pool, in the sea or wondering around a coastal town in swimsuit and floaty skirt ..why have i denied myself this?

so with this wishlist is a promise to myself to someday soon buy a swimsuit and wear it with pride. i also want to learn how to swim (so good for people like me who can’t do excerise that’s intensive on the joints) but that’s a long term goal. who’s with me?

as you can see i’m definitely drawn to the more retro looks, and the full swimsuits and tankinis as opposed to bikinis. what would you go for? personally i LOVE the black spotty swimsuit!

disclaimer – sponsored by george at asda, all body related thoughts and words my own

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  • Reply sarie 01/08/2016 at 18:02

    LOVE the top right one. And oh my you are one brave and good one for writing about what can’t be an easy subject for you. I am so happy you have found acceptance. I am still on my journey…

    • Reply laura redburn 10/08/2016 at 12:19

      i’m still thinking about it! it’s just so cute.
      ahh yeah it is hard to write about, but i figure if i can ‘get it out there’ even a little, it might just help someone. i wouldn’t say i’m fully accepting of my body and it’s issues (who is?!) but definitely in a better place. it’s a tough old journey eh? x

  • Reply Jess @ Along Came Cherry 02/08/2016 at 17:33

    I love the black one too. Really brave of you to speak out about suffering with anorexia too, so glad you have reached a point of acceptance too. I’m on the other side of the boob problem, mine are bloody tiny! xx

    • Reply laura redburn 10/08/2016 at 12:21

      ahh thanks jess. i thought i’d never feel good about my body again once the weight came back after using the pill but it’s so nice to be in a semi accepting place. progress right? haha! boobs can be so annoying, they always seem to be one or the other!

  • Reply Eleanor 04/08/2016 at 07:02

    You are never going to guess what…..I HAVE ONE OF THOSE BATHING SUITS!!! The spotty/stripey nautical one! It’s really good for big boobs.

    I only own it because I have to try and show a bit of body confidence in front of my daughter…otherwise, I’d be without.

    That suit makes me feel quite good :)

    • Reply laura redburn 10/08/2016 at 12:25

      ha, amazing! and good to hear on the boob front. as much as i love the black dotty one, i do worry with the thinner straps that it’d dig in a little under ‘boob strain’.

      yes, important to show body confidence in front of your children if you can! it’s hard enough trying to do it for yourself sometimes isn’t it, but you obviously always want your children to grow up knowing they are loved and that they should (try to) love themselves too.

  • Reply Kathryn 04/08/2016 at 19:44

    Great post Laura and brave of you to share. I love the swimsuits and the way you illustrated them – you’re so talented! xx

  • Reply Rachel 05/08/2016 at 10:06

    Love all those suits (and the way you’ve collaged them). I think everyone struggles (whatever their body shape or size) with insecurities, particularly in swim wear. I remember asking a friend’s son who was acutely embarrassed by his appearance in a wetsuit whether he’d noticed anyone else looking silly on the beach? He hadn’t, because no-one did, and everyone was so busy doing their own thing or thinking about their own self that they don’t notice other people.

    After we had our 2nd baby, we had some photos taken 5 days later. I showed my husband one I loved of him – he said, all he could see were his flaws. All I could see was the love for his new son. But couldn’t bear the photos of me where my body in the photo didn’t match my body in my head. He couldn’t see that at all, all he could see was the same thing I could see in the photos of him.

    Sorry, long rambling comment. last thing – I love the quote I read somewhere once. Bikini/swim suit + your body = beach body ready :)

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