as i’ve said a few times recently, life has been particularly tough so far this year, and especially the past couple of weeks.
despite all my best efforts and trying the power of positive thought, life keeps throwing all sorts of curve-balls. i feel like i’ve done something karmically wrong to deserve this, but life has always felt like a constant struggle, so maybe it’s just the way my life is meant to be.
still, i persevere and try my best to be positive, to always be a kind person and not to be a burden. saying that, i do hope things ease up for a while, soon. that would be genuinely wonderful, and most welcomed.
– when something ‘clicks’ in your mind and you realise something.
– finding out a bottle of cold water is more effective (but more awkward) and longer lasting than a cold flannel.
– finally writing out a list of foods i do/should avoid, thus helping myself feel less ill.
– having a good wooden hand fan. used one for years but they’re so helpful.
– finding a gluten free cereal that’s as cheap as ‘normal’ ones.
– going to cardiff museum recently. need to go more!
– looking through old photos.
– writing these posts. if i haven’t lately, they force me to think about what i’m grateful for.
– cute dogs on the internet.
– taking small steps to become more organised.
– seeing my plants grow.
this past month has been a particularly hard one. i know (hope) things will get a bit easier in the coming months, but it’s really hard to try to keep afloat when you feel like you’re drowning with a lead weight tied to your feet. regardless, there are always good things. fleeting moments or something a bit longer lasting – they truly do help to keep me going. things such as:
– getting back into making videos. i’ve missed it! i’m always filming bits and then not using them.
– reeses cups. a perfect little treat that doesn’t feel too ‘naughty’.
– wearing favourite clothes i’ve not worn for a while. feeling how soft they are and revelling at the colours & patterns.
– tending to my plants.
– spring-time rearing its head, little by little.
– finding a magnolia tree near me that i could actually get near, to pretend it was the one in my nans garden that i so loved as a child.
– marvelling over colour combinations.
– going for a walk on a sunny day and actually feeling warm.
– this book.
– ‘the warm tile’ (basically, one tile in our kitchen heats up when the heating is on. it makes me happy to stand on it.)
this year so far has been pretty hard to deal with, both on a personal level as well as on a level beyond myself. things are never easy, but they seem particularly hard and trying and i’m really struggling to cope. i feel like i’m getting closer to an edge that i will easily lose grip of.
so, as always a short list of ‘small things’ that have made me happy or lifted my spirits:
– drinking lots of green tea. it really does help to take a few minutes to have some calm.
– the salted caramel green & blacks chocolate, it’s bloomin’ delicious.
– ava sitting by my side to keep warm. she never really used to, and it warms my heart.
– remembering to find beauty even on the worst days, if only for a moment.
– kind people, always.
– taking photos, always.
– noticing that it’s slowly getting lighter in the evenings.
– finding fantastic stamps in my favourite charity shop.
– seeing my friends and acquaintances have small and bigger successes.