15 things you didn’t know about me

what i wore

as i was writing these, i realised they’re quite (overwhelmingly, almost) negative things. i want my blog to be a place of positivity – not in a fake ‘everything is okay, let’s just gloss over any negativity’ way – but i like to share more personal things from time to time. it’s important to feel a sense of connection and relatability i think. i have no problem with talking about my issues, but i don’t want to be that person that just goes on and on. so, here’s 15 things you didn’t know about me:

1 – when i was younger i was convinced i was a ghost. i felt lonely and invisible a lot and my brain just concluded that as a logical thing.

2 – i am really scared of balloons. they totally freak me out. just thinking about them makes me feel horrible. see also: people dressed in animal costumes.

3 – when i was little i also was convinced for a short while my mother was an alien and/or she wasn’t my real mother. there’s… issues with her.

4 – i hate being the centre of attention. i used to cry when people sang happy birthday to me because people were looking at me and it made me anxious.

5 – i wanted to be called daisy. so glad i grew out of that one!

6 – i am scared of escalators and can’t go up or down stationary stairs unless there’s something (or someone) to hold onto. my balance issues combined with a fear of heights doesn’t help.

7 – i have what i always thought was hypochondria, but recently found it’s not. i don’t know if there’s a name for it. basically, i have a irrational fear of death or injury. i think about it a lot but i try not to let it affect me. having depression and anxiety doesn’t help, and most likely contributes. sometimes i feel so stupid because it’s so irrational. some examples – i can’t be in the same room as a washing machine when it’s on because i fear it’s going to explode and some part is going to kill me. same with microwaves. if i walk under a bridge i think it’s going to collapse on me. if anyone else has this, please let me know so i don’t think i’m totally crazy.

8 – i basically have the hips of an old woman. it gets painful.
9 – my favourite flowers are poppies.
10 – i have a stationery addiction. i see this is a good thing! pens, paper, etc make me a weird kind of happy.
11 – i always wanted to be a physicist, particularly an astrophysicist. i gave up on that dream pretty early though as i am awful at maths and i don’t think my brain has the capacity for all that info!
12 – i hate when people go out of their way to impress me. just be yourself.
13 – i sneeze at least 10-15 times a day, every day (pretty much) since i was really young. when i was 15 or so i had some..thing where for a bit over a week i sneezed almost constantly. it made me really ill and i couldn’t eat. one day during it my dad took me for a drive and he counted me doing 50 or more sneezes in one ‘go’. i often fear this weird sneezing thing will come back and hope it never does!
14 – i hate routine and i am awful at making decisions.
15 – i can’t swim.

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1 Comment

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